Many of you know we have started the adoption process. We have gone through training and completed our home study. At this point, we are just waiting.
And waiting is hard.
We are waiting to be matched. We even know who it is we want, but we just cannot be sure that anything will happen. It is completely out of our control. I begin to second guess our choices. Did we push to hard or not enough? Did we pick the right agency? Should we have chosen to foster to adopt instead? The truth is, I don't know. But I do know we cannot go back and do it again so I need to hold strong to the choices we have made. These are times that I know it is important to cry out to God and ask Him to please take control. It feels good to relinquish the need to control it.
That does not mean that I will quit fighting. I leave it to God and pray he has his hand in it but I will still put in the hard work, the tears, the frustration and the pain. I will still put those in because out of it comes joy. Joy of thinking of our children, the way our lives will change, the people we will become. Every time I get any new information or little bit of anything I am filled with joy. Not to mention, the amount of joy we will have when they are finally ours.
If I could offer one thing to them now, my one hope, would be for them to know we are here. We are here wanting them and fighting for them. That we already love them.
It has been a difficult journey and the hard part hasn't even begun but we will come out stronger and more blessed.
