So this is not what this post is about but I just wanted to say that I love the movie "Frozen". It's so great! I could watch it without the kids. Plus, I feel it's so easy to relate with Queen Elsa. Of course not because of the having magical powers but for other reasons.
Anyways, moving on.
Homeschooling has been so wonderful for us. We absolutely love it. However, I feel like things keep changing which forces us to redo our schedule. Then it takes me forever to find one that works for us again. Plus, once our day doesn't fit the schedule anymore, I have a hard time getting back on track for the day. I know we could just not do anything except our schedule and say no to things but I don't like that either. I like being able to be flexible and make plans. Plus as of now, the kids are so young, that the actually learning time takes so little time.
Plus there is that feeling that I know homeschool moms all around mutually feel. The one that says "Am I doing enough"? We have a philosophy that the schoolwork is important but it's important not to overload the kids so they have a chance to develop their passions and interests. However, even with this, I can still find myself feeling like we need to add more things to our day (although I don't know where we would find the time!)
I'm sure plenty of moms feel this way and even those that don't homeschool. It's so easy to feel inadequate as a mom, especially when we compare ourselves to others.
God tells us we are uniquely made, which we all completely understand. I can even relate it to certain areas of my life. However, why is it so hard to truly know if for all of ourselves and those around us. I love the freedom of being uniquely made and figuring out what that means for me. But sometimes, when looking around it can be hard. I need to work more on spending less time looking around and more time looking up.
On to other news, I found out my good friend is pregnant. I am so excited for this! However, I'm also really sad because I also found out she's moving (in about a month). Which means I won't get to be around for all of it. Totally disappointed. Plus my son and her son are such good friends and this is our first friend move away...we will see how it goes. Hopefully, we can maintain their friendship through the miles!
And to finish off with a quote from Frozen! "Some people are worth melting for."
My Loves
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Putting it out there
So I'm debating whether or not I want to write this. This may be better in my journal than on this blog...Hmm.
But I guess it's good to be real, right?? I hope so...
I guess I'll start off with the fact that I have an incredible son. He is so sweet and caring with such a big heart. He's appreciative and grateful. He's smart. I know people often use the phrase "too smart for their own good" but in this case, I would say it is completely accurate. He is very smart but I'm just not sure his little brain and body are able to handle some of the things he already has learned. Let's add in the fact that he is just a 6 year old boy and many of us know how 6 year old boys can be. He's a little rambunctious and struggles with self control. Is he mean or aggressive? NO WAY! He's very sweet and kind but he struggles to sit still or maintain focus. He forgets what he is supposed to be doing or even what the rules are. And he likes to move!!! This takes place mostly when he's with other kids, or people. It's like something clicks in his brain when another person enters his vicinity that is not immediate family.
We've tried helping him a lot by changing his diet, playing games that help the brain learn to focus, being very firm, and other things too. My sister once thought I would even go to measures of tracking the moon. :) I'm desperate but I'm not sure that I'm that desperate. You never know though.
It's hard for me because he is such a sweet awesome kid and I worry others won't see it because he does have this one thing that seems to get in the way.
Tonight, I was reminded of his struggles. After a nice long break and not having any of this surface, it can be hard to deal with again. But I am a more confident mama than I have been in dealing with this in the past. I know how amazing my son is and it does not matter to me if others don't see it yet. I know that it will come because you cannot truly know him without seeing it.
We have been considering boy scouts for him. He already does awana and gymnastics and I fear putting any kid in too many activities but especially him. I do not want to overwhelm him or in any way make him feel bad about himself. So as I was pondering this tonight, I was wishing I just had a friend that could relate. A friend I could lean on or that could offer advice.
And then God reminded me that I should be depending on Him. He is willing to be my friend when I need it and even when I think I don't. So instead of racking my brain for people who could relate and offer advice, I sent up a prayer. And I will continue to do so everyday for my sweet boy. But not just them, for my little ladies too! My middle struggles to open up to people (which I can completely understand) and my youngest struggles to even leave my side. We all have imperfections. So as the kids and I were praying tonight and asking God to help us with our challenges we discussed that we will always have challenges. This doesn't mean that anything is wrong or bad, right? It's just part of being human.
I'm finally learning to accept that. That has been my biggest challenge...that it is OKAY to be human and not perfect. So here I am, putting my weakness out there. I often struggle to think I am not good enough or that something is wrong with me. It's shame that I feel for not being a better person, friend, wife, mother, daughter, or anything I can be. I explained to the kids that this is something I struggle with and I shared because I always want them to know that I am human too. I never want them to feel that I expect them to be perfect because I, myself, as hard as it is for me...am not perfect either.
So as a mom who deals with this struggle of needing to "present myself as perfect" also needs to know that my children are their own people. I think some of the hardest parts of raising kids for me, is that they are a reflection of me. So if they are not being "perfect" around others, I take it as a reflection of me and of course that I am not perfect.
So I am learning that my babies are "perfect" just the way they are and I am too. That they may have areas of growth but we all do. I am learning to appreciate these things about them because I know that as I continue to watch these traits mature, grow, and develop...they will become incredible thing in my children. These things will begin to make a lot more sense. I just need to remind myself to depend on God and know that He knows what He is doing. He made my babies the way they are...for GOOD reason. I am simply here to help guide and grow them. But MOSTLY to LOVE them (just the way they are)!!
But I guess it's good to be real, right?? I hope so...
I guess I'll start off with the fact that I have an incredible son. He is so sweet and caring with such a big heart. He's appreciative and grateful. He's smart. I know people often use the phrase "too smart for their own good" but in this case, I would say it is completely accurate. He is very smart but I'm just not sure his little brain and body are able to handle some of the things he already has learned. Let's add in the fact that he is just a 6 year old boy and many of us know how 6 year old boys can be. He's a little rambunctious and struggles with self control. Is he mean or aggressive? NO WAY! He's very sweet and kind but he struggles to sit still or maintain focus. He forgets what he is supposed to be doing or even what the rules are. And he likes to move!!! This takes place mostly when he's with other kids, or people. It's like something clicks in his brain when another person enters his vicinity that is not immediate family.
We've tried helping him a lot by changing his diet, playing games that help the brain learn to focus, being very firm, and other things too. My sister once thought I would even go to measures of tracking the moon. :) I'm desperate but I'm not sure that I'm that desperate. You never know though.
It's hard for me because he is such a sweet awesome kid and I worry others won't see it because he does have this one thing that seems to get in the way.
Tonight, I was reminded of his struggles. After a nice long break and not having any of this surface, it can be hard to deal with again. But I am a more confident mama than I have been in dealing with this in the past. I know how amazing my son is and it does not matter to me if others don't see it yet. I know that it will come because you cannot truly know him without seeing it.
We have been considering boy scouts for him. He already does awana and gymnastics and I fear putting any kid in too many activities but especially him. I do not want to overwhelm him or in any way make him feel bad about himself. So as I was pondering this tonight, I was wishing I just had a friend that could relate. A friend I could lean on or that could offer advice.
And then God reminded me that I should be depending on Him. He is willing to be my friend when I need it and even when I think I don't. So instead of racking my brain for people who could relate and offer advice, I sent up a prayer. And I will continue to do so everyday for my sweet boy. But not just them, for my little ladies too! My middle struggles to open up to people (which I can completely understand) and my youngest struggles to even leave my side. We all have imperfections. So as the kids and I were praying tonight and asking God to help us with our challenges we discussed that we will always have challenges. This doesn't mean that anything is wrong or bad, right? It's just part of being human.
I'm finally learning to accept that. That has been my biggest challenge...that it is OKAY to be human and not perfect. So here I am, putting my weakness out there. I often struggle to think I am not good enough or that something is wrong with me. It's shame that I feel for not being a better person, friend, wife, mother, daughter, or anything I can be. I explained to the kids that this is something I struggle with and I shared because I always want them to know that I am human too. I never want them to feel that I expect them to be perfect because I, myself, as hard as it is for me...am not perfect either.
So as a mom who deals with this struggle of needing to "present myself as perfect" also needs to know that my children are their own people. I think some of the hardest parts of raising kids for me, is that they are a reflection of me. So if they are not being "perfect" around others, I take it as a reflection of me and of course that I am not perfect.
So I am learning that my babies are "perfect" just the way they are and I am too. That they may have areas of growth but we all do. I am learning to appreciate these things about them because I know that as I continue to watch these traits mature, grow, and develop...they will become incredible thing in my children. These things will begin to make a lot more sense. I just need to remind myself to depend on God and know that He knows what He is doing. He made my babies the way they are...for GOOD reason. I am simply here to help guide and grow them. But MOSTLY to LOVE them (just the way they are)!!
Monday, January 6, 2014
-8 degrees outside!
Even on this VERY cold day here in Missouri, I am reminded how lucky I am. The kids and I had such a great day, forgetting about the standards and opinions of the rest of the world and doing life the way we think is best. Today we made homemade donuts (doesn't get better than that!). We endured the weather and watched bubbles freeze seconds after we made them. We watched water freeze very quickly outside. We melted small pieces of crayons and watched them transform into large crayons with a new shape! We wrote letters to our friends in Peru and the Philippines. Of course we attended gymnastics and practiced Awana verses as we get ready for them to start up again in 2 days.
The 2 week break from life was wonderful and I enjoyed every bit of it. I was a little sad to return to normal life and routine. But as we are here in the middle of it, I am reminded how much I love it. We had so much fun today. I am so lucky not to be so tied down to an intense schedule that doesn't leave a lot of room for freedom and fun.
Today is a day I feel incredibly blessed with amazing family and unbelievable friends all around. I think about all the people who come through for me and support me regardless of what I'm going through. The last few weeks have been a tough few weeks for me, and I can definitely see the other side of the mountain. I have learned a lot about the people who are going to be there for me and the ones that at this time...just aren't. And I've learned to be okay with that, and to give up the things I cannot control. For me...this is a big step!
So I want to say thanks to the Lord for keeping things in line for me even when I'm walking the other way. Life is a process that is never ending. We continue to grow a little at a time. I've always been a person who needs to be in control and therefore I want to change and grow as much as I possibly can at one time so that I can say I did it and not have to worry about it anymore. And when that's not possible, I am discouraged and give up. However, I am finally feeling content in my areas of weakness and making changes one step at a time. And I couldn't have done it without all the support in my life from the great people around me.
Sorry for my rambling and random thoughts again....if you know me well...you know that's me. :)
The 2 week break from life was wonderful and I enjoyed every bit of it. I was a little sad to return to normal life and routine. But as we are here in the middle of it, I am reminded how much I love it. We had so much fun today. I am so lucky not to be so tied down to an intense schedule that doesn't leave a lot of room for freedom and fun.
Today is a day I feel incredibly blessed with amazing family and unbelievable friends all around. I think about all the people who come through for me and support me regardless of what I'm going through. The last few weeks have been a tough few weeks for me, and I can definitely see the other side of the mountain. I have learned a lot about the people who are going to be there for me and the ones that at this time...just aren't. And I've learned to be okay with that, and to give up the things I cannot control. For me...this is a big step!
So I want to say thanks to the Lord for keeping things in line for me even when I'm walking the other way. Life is a process that is never ending. We continue to grow a little at a time. I've always been a person who needs to be in control and therefore I want to change and grow as much as I possibly can at one time so that I can say I did it and not have to worry about it anymore. And when that's not possible, I am discouraged and give up. However, I am finally feeling content in my areas of weakness and making changes one step at a time. And I couldn't have done it without all the support in my life from the great people around me.
Sorry for my rambling and random thoughts again....if you know me well...you know that's me. :)
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